I've been writing here for a long time now. I have posts going back several years but I don't think I ever learned what it means to share what's been going on in my life with the world. There is close to zero audience for this. A few people do read it, from time to time. Most of them are close friends that I could just call and tell them what's been going on. Why don't I? I have no fucking clue.

I think I like the immortality that comes from this. Short of a solar flare zapping the shit out of us and frying everything electronic related, this blog (grumble) will last for a long time. Potentially forever. A good ol' piece of human history. I mean I try to update as often as I remember, or when I can get to Counter Culture, internet is so damned expensive. But aside from a few shortcomings, this should last forever. There are plenty of other people out there that write about vastly more interesting things, but this is my place to voice what's mine. To solidify what goes on in my head. No one else could write what I write because I am a completely unique person. This is very empowering when you think about it.

I have no idea why I do the things that I do. Why would I waste my day sitting at home watching Batman: The Animated Series instead of going out and finding a new job? I have no fucking clue. Why would I sit at Counter Culture bitching about my life on the internet instead of thinking of how I am going to both pay for school by the end of the day tomorrow and come up with rent by the end of the week?

I have no fucking clue. But I think it might have something to do with how fucking delicious Counter Culture's blueberry muffins are.


Looking For Someone Else To Dream About

Looking towards the future
We were begging for the past
Well we knew we had the good things
But those never seemed to last
Oh please just last
-"Missed the Boat" Modest Mouse

I have a few problems. But then again who doesn't right? It's just that some times these thing catch up to me all at once. It would seem that to be my fault though. I ignore them until they become real problems instead of stupid little problems. I guess it could be argued that all of these are stupid little problems when it comes down to it. Nothing matters really. Fuck the bullshit.
I've been trying to live my life in this way for a while. Fuck the bullshit. You don't need it. I don't need it. This doesn't mean ignore all the shit. It doesn't mean don't deal with it. Because you need to deal with it. We all need to deal with it. But just fuck it. Don't let it in. Don't let it effect me. This is much easier said than done. Some times we can't help letting these things effect us. Girls, for instance, are my Achilles heel. Particularly Morgan in this case. I can't help it. I think about her all the time. I dream about her all the time. All the time. I try not to. I try to move on. I can't. Maybe it's because I don't want to. I don't want someone else. I keep looking for someone else to dream about. I love dreaming about Morgan. I dream such amazing dreams when she's on my mind.

And she's always on my mind.


The Trooper's March

I have been completely slacking when it comes to all things internet, again. It's all good though because I've been busting my ass painting and drawing and writing. I just yesterday finished an amazing painting on the wall of my room. Using a projector and some acrylic paint. I made a storm trooper helmet. It kicks a lot of ass basically and I'm proud as a pig in shit to have made this. It's a lot like the one a bunch of us made in our living room only it's a lot smaller and I did it myself (it would have been way too cramped for someone to have helped me). I snapped off some pictures for the convenience of the internet and stuff so enjoy.

The Lowdown

My photo
Santa Fe, New Mexico, United States
"So I've made peace with the fallen leaves, I see their same fate in my own body. I won't be frightened when I'm awoken from this dream and return to that which gave birth to me"

The Following

The Back Log